You Talkin' All That Gangsta S*@#.

My friends have been getting their iPhones jacked left and right. So, I was looking for a cover that would make my gadget look a little less flashy, maybe fake cracks? Maybe faux duct tape? But, I stumbled upon the complete opposite and I'm in nerdy, white girl, wannabe badass love.

I'm gonna dress my iPhone up in bullets, paper, bling, and bitches...and...a six pack!

Just to be clear, I do not think these skins from iStyles will help keep my iPhone safe, but it will look tough, and make me laugh every time I Shazam a song. In Jersey we go hard. We go hard.

Fancy Timing

Couture is coming, couture is coming! That's the battle cry of the economically downturned. The custom-made, hand-sewn-by-French-ladies, high-cost, luxury-wear Spring 2009 Season is here. How strange, right? Yesterday 75,000 people lost their jobs and today there are slideshows up of outfits that sell for easily more than what a good portion of the population brings home in a year. Part of me wants to resist looking at it, thinking about it, writing about it. Part of me wants to yell at the designers with the nerve to go on with their frivolous, overdone ideas, their gaudy shows of spectacle and wealth. Then I got to thinking: I could never afford couture, couldn't have before and definitely can't now, and there will always be someone who can afford it. That is the way of our capitalist world. So, rather than sit and stew in resentment or throw eye darts at the stomping models catwalking down my computer screen, I'm going to focus on the beauty of it all, the fantasy, the escape, just like I always have. Things themselves don't make me happy, but looking at things, appreciating them, admiring their craft, their aesthetics, their shape, color, size, that all makes me happy. Super happy, in fact. So, on with the show. Just like old times.

A Little Dolly'll Do Ya!

Ok, so you know how the economy is in the pits right now? You know how everyone is being so practical-minded and all? Thinking about the bottom line? I'm feeling a backlash brewing. I predict absolute mayhem will follow all of the recession repression that is inevitable for the next few years. Who will dress the manic masses when they need to break free from black shift dresses and all-purpose pants? It will be Jean Paul Lespagnard! A funny man with a tacky plan. His Dolly-Parton-meets-circus-clown clothes designed for an imaginary muse named Jacqueline who fries frites in a Belgian street-side stand for a living, won him the Hyeres Prize (both the official award and the Public's Choice) at this past year's festival. Here are the looks that got him the gold:

Part of his prize was to design a capsule collection for European retailer 1,2,3. For this collection, Lespagnard has died Jacqueline's hair and taken her out of the frites shop. She's now on a journey to find her dashing Rocky suitor in ensembles that veer a little more Flashdance than 9 to 5 (you will be really sad if you don't click that link right there). Here are the newest Bealsy outfits:

You can see more about Jean Paul Lespagnard's newest collection at Dazed Digital.

Secret Society

Economic Downturn beware: your slumping, dipping dive cannot fully penetrate the shield of super-wealth. Most people with mega-money will hold on to their big bucks as they always have. It is more than likely that the women who have afforded couture before will still be shelling out sacks of cash for frocks custom made to fit them like a second skin. Who are the people who keep couture de rigueur? Watch this excellent BBC expose to find out.

Want more haute stuff? Here's parts two, three, four, five, and six.

Know When to Hold'em and When to Fold'em

Who says the dollar isn't worth anything these days? Let this silent short teach you how to relieve your financial anxieties, and solve an accessory dilemma at the same time. Here's how to make a bling ring origami style out of a dolla dolla bill y'all:

Ah, folding is very zen. Well, any Gap employee may disagree but I find it quite relaxing. Wear your singles proud before they get scarce!