The Sschmoscars.

I loved watching the Oscars in the company of friends this year. Usually I want silence so I can concentrate on nothing but the show that feels so damn seriously important and heightened. I get annoyed when people dis what I like or like what I hate and irritation ensues leading to too many trips to the snack spread. This year, I welcomed the nay-saying peanut gallery chatter and the heartfelt cheers for adored winners, or abhorred losers. I'm just not that serious about the spectacle anymore, which makes it even more enjoyable. I do of course have my fashion favorites from last night. I was impressed with some of the individual choices, and the overall look felt more varied and thankfully less stylist-orchestrated than the year's other awards events. Also, Anne Hathaway played that stage like a pop star, changing outfits however many times it took to distract from her seemingly purple hazed co-host, the meta-tastic Jimmy Franco. I personally was wowed by Anne's quick switches. The verdict? This year was a popcorn munching kind of year--light, airy, buttery, golden. Sometimes it got stuck in my teeth type irritating, but mostly it was enjoyable.

My favorite look of the night came from the inimitable Ms. Cate Blanchett.

I can hear the decriers already slamming its weirdness or washed-out color scheme, but in fact that weirdness is the kind of pretty I like. It's off, it's not your typical Oscar fantasy dress. Blanchett is a woman of style and taste. Anyone can look great on a red carpet, but to move the pendulum of fashion in one direction or the other, to get people talking and splitting opinions is the second part-time job of a Hollywood style setting actress.

Her Givenchy couture dress is strange: The creped chiffon skirt and bodice set off the hard lines of the very structured shoulders. The dress looks like armor dotted with pastel caviar. Its laduree violet and egg yolk colors are atypical for fancy occasions, but complimentary on the color wheel which lets them settle in as strange bedfellows that work anyway. Cate's makeup and her glide across the stage brought the dress to an elevated level of comfort on her. It's not just what the woman wears, it's how she wears it. The dress came directly from Ricardo Tisci's Spring 2011 Couture show for Givenchy, his obsessive (and beautiful) ode to Japanism seen below.

Givenchy also gets praise for Anne Hathaway's first ceremony dress of the evening, which had a similar pretty armor feel. The thick jeweled straps criscrossing the bodice felt like protective chains. I'm sorry there aren't better images of the dress on the interwebs because the back of it is equally gorgeous.

Hathaway's later incarnation as a foil to Franco's cross-dressing Marilyn look, came off as less of a joke than I think the producers may have intended. I thought Anne's smartly tailored Lanvin tux--replete with a floppy bowtie hat tip to his Majesty Alber--outshone most of the girlie gowns.

And, speaking of shine, the sky-high sparklers attached to Hathaway's feet were fantastic. I was impressed with her bounding up those equally twinkling stairs to deliver that lung-busting musical number she did. Gold star, Anne.

Other favorites? These ones:

Goldie star Gwyneth! Sometimes the GOOPy blond just gets is so right on the red carpet. This golden sheath is liquid metal on her, and the column shape with the stick straight, ultra-blond hair, tan-as-tasteful-tan-can-be glow, and those jaw hugging bejeweled earrings all come together so well.

Scarjo's sexiness cannot be tamed. The dress she chose hugs and snugs her curves, the raspberry color is deeply, almost aggressively feminine, and her tousled hair/understated makeup combination is just comfortably sexy. When sexy is comfortable, or at least looks that way, it is actually sexier. Watch Scarlet and learn.

Not sexy? Hailee Steinfeld. Thank God! The teen actress looked so appropriately sweet and girlie it made me sigh a huge sigh of relief. Everything from the cut to the color to her hair are pretty and feminine and lovely. It's so wonderful to see a young Hollywood actress not being tarted up by the fame machine.

One final note of interest: Marisa Tomei wore a Charles James gown! I'm a bit astounded because most of the 1950s sartorial star's gowns are safely stored in environmentally controlled museum collections at places like the Costume Institute and the Museum at FIT. Her wearing the gown out last night to a public event is somewhat akin to a starlet borrowing a bit of Egyptian jewelry from The Met galleries for a few hours. Granted Lily et Cie, the vintage purveyor who lent her the gown is a reputable dealer in the historic costume world and the venture is a commercial one, it still raises questions for me about the idea of precious clothing being treated as irreplaceable, valuable pieces of art work. Should a Charles James be paraded down a red carpet? Exposed to the elements, losing fibers, damaging hems, and being flashed with powerful light? And then, gasp, sat on? Or, should it be safe and sound, preserved for posterity? Is it different because it is fulfilling its purpose? It's being worn and shown for the delight of it? Things that make you go hmmm...well, at least if you are a budding fashion historian. That is all.

Yo, Oscars, see you again next year!

All images from JustJared.com, except Givenchy couture shots from Style.com, and Anne Hathaway pictures from a diligent google search.

And The Winner is...

Rodarte! The Mulleavy's owned the Oscars if you ask me. Two of the night's biggest and brightest wore their creations and looked great.

I'm so happy that they were well represented. Their designs are gorgeous enough to be classic glam, and interesting enough to satisfy the serious fashion eye in me. Their vision is so unique, yet toned down a bit it translated well on the Red Brick Road to Oscar Land. Yay for them, yay for us.

Photos from JustJared.com.

Round Two!

A funny thing happened on the way to the Vanity Fair Oscar Party last night, many of the Academy Awards attendees switcharooed their outfits before their arrival. Some of it just seemed a little over indulgent if you ask me. Yes, I get it, a lot of those gowns are not made for dancing, and there are skirts that are too large for crowded parties, trains that will get stomped on, but some of the switching was from one fancy gown to another. I smell product placement. I also smell another round of fashion commentary. Woohwee...

I think this dress, especially the canary color, is a better pick for Keys than her hot pink number for the show. It's kind of like she got a do-over.


Penelope went from one white gown to another, but this time she gave the crowd a spicier view. I was kind of hoping she'd dress like her character from Vicky Christina (hot!). Maybe that should be a rule, if you switch outfits your second one has to be in character.


Jessica Biel switched into an equally no-go purple gown with WWF (WTF?) sized gold belt. Homage to the Ram Jam?


Rourke shed his white telecast suit (surprisingly well played) for a flamboyant bit of Rourkian flair. No other word to decribe that ensemble. I kinda like it. It reminds me of the Golden Girls in a weird way. Like if Blanche were to bring home a rebellious younger man, this is what he would wear. Yeah...


Tomei put on a little something interesting. Colorblock! My jury is out on this one, but I appreciate the break in sparkliness. I do think she should have dressed like her Wrestler character as well. Or not dressed, I guess that would be a better term.


Taraji P. Henson slipped into something equally fancy, but with a bit less back and front.


Marion Cotillard's second choice was more chic, less princess. More better, less tutu-y.

I wonder if anyone wore a third dress. That would be amazing. I call that as a wave of the future. Watch for it and remember that you heard it here first.

Click any photo for source/more information.

Domo Arigato, Mr. Oscar.

I need to just say right off the bat, I find Hugh Jackman utterly unwatchable. I know, I know, Sexiest Man Alive, blah, blah, blah...I don't care. He should have been immediately replaced by dynamic duo Tina Fey and Steve Martin, or the Mr. Roboto thanker, Kumio Kato. Immediately. It would have saved me the four minutes and change that I will never get back from the stinkhole that was that musical number with Lipsynka protege Beyonce. I could have watched Ben "Joaquin" Stiller and Natalie "I'm in with the Rodarte girls!!!!" Portman rip on the poor frog-seeing, non-acting musician for a few more hours (FYI, that line about the Hasidic meth lab? Perfect!.) It would have been much easier than sitting through Huge Hackman's awkward celeb audience member shoutouts and vocal stylings. He should stick to playing a wolf mutant for the kiddies and denying all of those rumors. Just saying.

Anyways, on to the good stuff! Here's what I noticed when I wasn't wincing at Hugh:

I don't get Jennifer Aniston's appeal. I never have. My brother tries to tell me things about how she's like a real woman, like a girl next door, but still, I don't get it. Don't know if I ever will. This mall prom dress that looks like it came straight off of the Cache rack doesn't help me get it.

John Mayer, if you want to explain it to me, to help me understand clearly, I'd entertain a discussion with you--as long as you were wearing your Borat swim suit. Otherwise, it's a no-go.

Sans Seventh Heven Jessica Biel is basically a famous reminder of the blessed existence of Justin Timberlake at this point, which I appreciate immensely. But, when she shows up places without him, I just cry. Unfair. Also unfair? Her absolute waste of an opportunity to look gorgeous. I mean women slave over hot treadmills to look like her, and then she wraps herself in an illfitting, sacky gown.

This dress absolutely had potential, absolutely. It is structurally interesting, looks unique, has this amazing black and white element, but the bottom doesn't fit. It looks like she deflated a little. Makes me think of a crushed toilet paper tube. How amazing would that dress have been if it fit her on the bottom? A little hug of the booty? Would have been very nice.

Get your rods ready (read the rest of this sentence before you jump to any perverted conclusions, ok?) because I declare open season on all fish tail dresses. I'm not a fan.

They are just unflattering on anyone other than a lithe 7-foot stunner and they make me so uncomfortable and nervous. I can't imagine walking in that. Waddle, waddle.

Kate Winslet was by far my favorite actress this year. Her performances in Revolutionary Road and The Reader were phenomenal and she's spent all awards season looking stunning. But, I do fear she got a case of the Jennifer Connellys last night. It's a sudden illness that leads gorgeous, talented actresses who have looked phenomenal at all other victorious awards ceremonies of the season to show up at the Mac Daddy event looking far less than stellar.

I would never not love Kate Winslet, and she's simply stunning and talented, but this dress is a do-nothing dress. It's not flattering, it doesn't showcase her shape, and it does nothing for her coloring. It's an eh. She's a wow. Shouldda been a wowee.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman made a bold head gear choice last night:

A beanie. To the Oscars. And, he wore it the whole time. What was the weather like in LA anyway? That's no temperature related choice, that's a statement of somekind. Oh, most talented actor, what are you trying to say?

Who hit Lisa Rinna with the x-tra large, maximum botox stick, and when? I mean I know she's looked very well preserved for a long time, but this is obscene:

Age, women! Age! It's ok. It happens. Jeez. I just averted my eyes from my own blog...

Actually, that picture made me feel a little cheap. Depressed. Ok, I'm switching gears. We are going the high route people! I'm taking my inspiration from Best Original Screenplay winner writer Dustin Lance Black, and using my powers for good instead of evil. Here are snapshots of what I loved:

Angelina Jolie's earrings were simple, green, splash-of-color perfection! That's the kind of accessory I like--strong, singluar, sensationsal.

Extreme close-up, huh? Earring porn!

Natalie Portman puts a little Pepto in her step, making a color my friend Sara affectionately refers to as "obnoxious pink," the brightest, most beautiful hue of the evening.

Nice tan, Ports. You look marvelous in your Rodarte.

Taraji P. Hensen' s ruby red clutch gets my Bangin' Bag award.

That splash of deep red against her gorgeous creamy gown is a yay. She was my second favorite part of Benny Button (Cate's amazing complexion was the first) and she looks fabulous.

Diane Lane, star of the sexiest cheat-on-Richard Gere movie ever, looked simple and gorgeous and should serve as an inspiration to mature women everywhere.

I love a nice thick lash with some red lips. So classic, so gorgeous.

Another makeup look I loved? Evan Rachel Wood.

I know, I feel like I'm cheatin' on my true love Dita, but what can I say, the girl looks good. Much better than in this photo:

There, Dita. You still win. Hands down. No question.

Speaking of Mickey "Ram Jam" Rourke--he was robbed. How can you witness a man wearing that much spandex and peroxide and not award him. I give him the best chiuaua charm award.

R.I.P. Loki.


I love this photo of the Slumdog Millionaire kids. They were so, so good in that great movie, and they look so, so great here.

Ok, I can't take it any longer. I need to confess my love for Tilda Swinton. I heard she has an open marriage, so this is my plea to join it:

Oh Tilda, I think I love you in so many wierd ways, but I think you'll understand because you seem to be weird, that's why I think it would work so well. I love your flair for unflattering yet strangely appealing sartorial choices. I love your ever-changing red hair color, I love your talented intensity, your phenomenal acting abilities, and I love, love, love your slightly unnerving alien-like physical features. I would love to see your home planet and be let into your universe. I'd worship you just as lovingly as Viktor + Rolf. What do you say?

You know what I say? I've had enough. It was great, ruby red carpet fun, but now it's time for it to be over. I'll hunt around and see the party wrap-ups and check in with you later. For now, feast on the plethora of sites you can access by clicking any one of the images above. Have fun!

Absurdly Beautiful

I'm a fan of the more original among us. I can appreciate the classic, the pretty, the subtle, the right fit, but more often than not it is the one that makes people shake their head that really catches my eye. Style.com has a great feature today about red carpet dresses that critics loathed, but they loved. I wholeheartedly agree with most of their choices. Here are the flack-getters that should have been praised:

Cameron Diaz in Ungaro


Kirsten Dunst in Rochas


Tilda Swinton in Lanvin


Bjork in Marjan Pejoski

Here's to the non-conformist, anti-establishment, swan-wearing starlets that make my fashion world go 'round. Someone please take a cue and do something interesting at this year's Oscars. Please. I think my money is on Mickey Rourke.