My Two Thoughts.

The Grammys are just about the trainwreckiest fashion spectacle in the world, bested only by maybe the VMAs? The CMAs? The Soap Opera Awards? I only have two thoughts worth sharing tonight:

1) Pink, stop hanging yourself from the ceiling.

I've seen you do this a lot. It's lost its impact, even if you were soaking wet this time. As a friend of my new roommate said, "People didn't come to the Grammy's all dressed up for you to drip on them."

2) Gaga! I can see your lips. And I'm not talking about the ones on your face! Holy cow.

Give me just, like, a quarter inch more fabric on each side and I won't be utterly distracted by your Lady parts. Plus, I'm concerned. Your minty green getup looks like it's cutting off circulation. You need circulation there. It's really important, especially for you as I believe that your magical powers emanate from your hooha.

Thanks. That's all.

PS: I moved today and am deliriously overtired. I blame this post on that. Don't judge me.

We Interrupt Fashion Week To Bring You...

...The VMAs.

Here are my thoughts:

1) Kanye, how many times a day would you say you kiss your own ass? Like, a million? How dare you embarrass Queen B like that! She looked shocked and disgusted by your ridiculousness. Also, you and Amber looked a little...how do I say this delicately? Oh, that's right. I don't need to say it delicately cuz' yer kind of an ass...trashy. Maybe it's the Henny?

2) Nelly Furtado, you looked fabulous!




3) Someone's getting fired!


Although, it's hard to imagine that this sort of double dress thing would happen to two huge stars at a huge event by accident in this day and age. Maybe it was planned because they knew they would get tons of press off of it.


4) AAACK!!!


I read this interview with Lady Gaga where she said she would do lines of coke and dance around her apartment in front of the mirror for hours while writing her songs. Maybe that's why she dresses like this? Believe me, I'm all for freedom of expression, but she has absolutely no sense of humor about herself and that makes me uncomfortable when I look at her in get-ups as freaky as the ones she donned tonight. I mean the Lady sings songs about disco sticks and then fakes her own death as serious as a heart attack with backup dancers donning face thongs. It's just strange. Also, she's besties with Perez Hilton. That make me suspicious of her.

5) Madonna and Janet did an amazing job of eulogizing MJ. Madonna let her cyborg melt just enough to squeak out real, moving, human emotion and Janet rocked it out like a champ at the 4 minute mark of this tribute:

Janet Jackson - MTV Shows

I almost cried when she did the Scream dance with Michael's video image. It was perfect.

That's all I have to say about all that.

When Stylists Attack! (In a Good Way!)

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, I'm sure that you've noticed that I have a love/hate relationship with stylists. Yes, it's great to see everyone looking gorgeous and pulled together and polished, but all the perfection makes me long for the days of personal style and "Would you be caught dead in this?" photo ops.

That being said, whoever transformed my guilty pop pleasure Pink from eternal "Dear Lord, what was she thinking" embodiment, to a glittering, golden, glamour girl deserves a big fat bonus. I've always thought Pink was pretty beneath all of the tack-tastic get-ups she would rock, but I never quite imagined she could look this classically gorgeous and glowy. Now, I would hate to see Pink sanitized and fashionized too often and I honestly do admire her unique brand of style chutzpah, but the girl looked good.

Image: Associated Press for Daily Mail

Palette Cleanser (or not!)

Fashion Week Overload? Take a breather from Bryant Park and ogle these lovely nuggets from the annual fashion trainwreck that is the VMA's.

Pink goes gray and way overstriped.


Solange hides everything she's got under a hot pink puff and has an alternating manicure.


Bizarro Zooey Deschanel (Katy Perry) barely gets dressed


La Diva X-Tina does her best Donatella

All images are courtesy of the Fug Girls who specialize in all things funnily friggin' fugly.