Monday, January 25, 2010

Oh, The Humanity.

Aaaaak! Mommy! That should be a health code violation.

As an urbanite I've developed all sorts of fears that may seem irrational to an uninitiated suburban denizen. New York comes with hazards that those unfamiliar with the concrete jungle may not be aware of. For instance; I have a phobia of seeing people with one giant dreadlock. It is enough of a phobia to cause me nausea and the shakes if ever I'm in the radius of one. I had assumed that the existence of one giant dread was a city-centric horror. I thought there was something about the grime and grit of New york that provided the proper habitat for the hair on a person's head to cease up and clump into a giant, hardened mass of matted matter. I thought it was something that the rest of the country would be spared, but alas, a perusal through the archives of People of Walmart proved that my fear has no respect for the city limits.

Oh lord.

I will now be in fear anytime I take a roadtrip as well. This is to say nothing of the other atrocities that apparently await me at any Walmart that I may ever wander into. I have love and compassion for my fellow man, even those traipsing the aisles of a Supercenter with their bellies hanging out of their shirts, but I can't hide the truth of my aversions. See for yourself and tell me I'm in the wrong. Also--just a warning--this site contains more crack than Amy Winhouse.

God, thank you for blessing me and my family with at least outward signs of decency. I appreciate it.

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