Real Gold.

This year The Globes were all about "real" women. The Mistress of Ceremonies as such was Ms. Christina Hendricks.

Be still my beating heart, she is a breathtaking savior of souls in that gorgeous gown. Maybe y'all out there don't know the joy of seeing her on a red carpet because you don't know the pain of hating your curvaceous body in a world high and mighty on the thin, thin, and thinner. I wish you could feel the flush of warm love that her appearance stirs in me. It's divine. Forever and always, Christina, I lurve you and your globes!

Others who looked divine were also of an underrepresented demo--the older ladies who still look like real humans.

The glowing Glenn Close and the ever-wonderful Meryl Streep looked so classy and so undone, and Meryl's acceptance speech was just as lovely as she is.


Even our go-to girl for how much not to wear, Christina Aguilera, looked, well, pretty and soft and not like a drag queen at all. Nice!

Mo'Nique's legs were real stars too! She could probably braid those puppies, but I say good for her!

Shaving sucks. You guys get to look like ravishing, sexy, scruffy hotties (insert link to Sam Worthington photo here) and we have to be hairless like swimming seals. It's a bitch, people! I say stubble it up if you want, who's gonna stop ya? Certainly not the HFPA. I wouldn't do it, but if you want to grow some leg gruff, go for it.

Also, I don't know how quote-unquote real Jennifer Aniston is on my sclae, but she looked real hot.

And, for the record, I'm never a particular fan of the Aniston. But, damn, girl! Nice legs. Now if only they were hairy like Mo'nique's...