Dear Ms. Anna Wintour,
Thank you for inviting me to your party last night. It was so much fun! I saw a little, Indian man in acid-colored golfer gear talking to a bedecked zaftig lady in ruched ruffles of black on black at Bergdorfs! That was fun. There were too many people on the 7th floor for me to see Mary Kate and Ashley, but I did watch Andre Leon Talley walk by. Anna, that was wonderful!
I saw your frenemy Grace Coddington at her exhibit at Prada. She let me get a picture with her, which I thought was very kind of her. Next time she tells you off in the office, let her go easy. She was sweet to me.
Look, our photo came out "soft" just like Coddington likes it! She set up those suit-wearing wolves at a Red Riding Hood themed exhibit at Prada.
I bumped into one of your cover girls, Sasha Pivovarova who told me that she'd really rather be a full time artist and that I should check out her exhibit at Bendel's down the street. I did. There was a giant doll made of all sorts of things! That was cool.
God, if you ever want to feel dorky and stocky stand next to a supermodel! Recent I Want To Wear It. post subject Sasha Pivovarova's art was on display at Henri Bendel's. She's really tall.
Shots of Sasha's show at Bendel's
I also got an astrological reading at Bendel's. I wanted a Poppy King lip reading, but I settled for a star-ologist instead. She told me I was an old soul, with a natural ability to lead, but a tendency to get stuck doing grunt work and loving people who lack commitment and structure. That made me think about all sorts of things that weren't fun, but then I spotted a fashion illustrator doing portraits of women who waited on a line and that made me happy again.
Anna, I was a little worried throughout the night that the mix of mobs, booze, and expensive (with a capital E) clothes would prove disastrous for you. I was having thoughts of the Terminal 5 exhibit that backfired when art got wrecked, ruined, and snagged by drunken revelers. I thought the triumph of the evening could turn out badly for you in the end, but maybe I wasn't giving the fashionistas enough credit.
It was crowded everywhere! But, I think the biggest crowds were at the bars, not the registers. I wonder what the final takes for the evening were.
The next stop of the night was at Opening Ceremony, and let me tell you, Anna, it was a hipster mobscene! The store was p-p-p-packed to capacity and even the sidewalk was jammed with people wearing fake prescription glasses and giant bows on their heads. It was the place to be. I really wanted to see The Mulleavy Sisters there, but alas, it wasn't going to happen.
All I saw of Rodarte were their Kurt Cobain t-shirts on the car they customized outside. The hipsters were packed into every square foot inside and outside the store!
My last stop was at Topshop. Where I bumped into Karen Elson, literally. She stumbled down a few stairs in her stilettos. I felt so bad! Good thing she's got practice in those things. She teetered but didn't topple. Once she steadied herself, I told her how much I loved her work, which I guess is an awkward thing to say to a model? But I do. So I said it.
Vogue reader (um, hello? Meeting Grace Coddington? ALT? Supermodels?) Amazing.
I'm sorry I didn't buy anything, but maybe next year?
Thanks for the good times,